I want to walk on stilts...naked
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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