This dress was meant to end up on your floor
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
