don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize