We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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