At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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