You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
