dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize