I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
