Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
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