you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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