Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize