I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
