Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
We got so high we made milksteak
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
