im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
he had hair everywhere except his balls
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
