I want to make a zoo with you.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
