i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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