I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
