You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
They are going to name an STD after you.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
