dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
