i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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