Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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