There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
