Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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