I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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