All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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