I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
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