Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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