it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
