He is like the real live version of the state fair..
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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