Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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