TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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