I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
