butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
