I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
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