I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize