meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
