i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
