so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
farters have to be the big spoon...
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Randomize