I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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