If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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