I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
she peed on how many people?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Randomize
