You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
