can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize