I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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