Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
