I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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