I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
