i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Randomize
