SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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