you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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