sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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