I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
