sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
