Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
