I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I just blew my weed a kiss
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
