Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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