Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
