I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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