Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i just made my gag reflex go away.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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