just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
