I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
vagina is talking i cant
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
